Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Driver

It was Christmas 1993, Brian was just over one year old. His favorite gift that Christmas was his first car....a red and yellow Cozy Coupe. We were the typical parents of a first born. Say Momma Brian, you can do it....then crawl Brian, crawl, you can do it...then it was walk Brian walk, you can do it! We wanted him to hit those milestones right on target. We encouraged him to learn and grow.

By the time the 2nd one comes along it's "he's crawling already? Not yet, we're not ready!" And by then you realize how much more trouble they can get into when they are mobile. And you sort of start to realize how fast the time is going.

But when Brian got his little car, we were still in the "eager for every first" stage. Brian was sure proud to be sooooo big and driving his very own car. They called it the Cozy Coupe...most of us called it the Flintstones mobile since it was powered with his feet. And powered by Mom and Dad pushing him around when he wanted to go faster. It was fun, it was safe...well...except for the big hill that was our driveway....he was mobile but it was in our control.

Well, that feeling of control went out the door today. Brian is taking his last behind the wheel session. He's had his permit for quite a while...but we hadn't been very aggressive about scheduling the behind the wheel. It's ok, it can wait, you don't need to drive just yet.

And Brian hasn't been pushing us about it. He says driving is sort of boring. He says he doesn't like worrying about what the other guy is doing. I get that. Learning to drive in the suburbs is so different than growing up in the country driving farm vehicles from the time you can reach the pedals. And growing up in a place where you couldn't wait to get some wheels which signaled freedom.

But he's ready now. You can tell from the smile. And I've probably been a bad mom for not encouraging him more....and for not saying come on Brian, you can do it! And going ahead and scheduling the sessions.

But I've learned a little from the time that they were small, every time you teach these guys something it just means that they are one step closer to growing up. And I do know that growing up is a good's just that I'm not always ready for it.

Sometimes it's hard to let go....because letting go means that they are in control now. And I do know that he can handle's just that I am a little worried. Because I'm a mom. And because see, when he was little I don't think that we were strict enough about his driving. We allowed squirrelly friends in the car...and we even let him drink and drive.

He better not have any ideas about doing stuff like that now....but then again.....I do have the keys. Maybe I have more control than I thought! Man, this parenting thing is hard.
p.s....I'm just joking around about the drinking and driving and about the letting go. Brian is a good kid...he wouldn't do anything like that....and I would scalp him if he ever did.

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